


map of your stars

by CHERRYYONG



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angst, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Non-Chronological, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pilot Johnny, smuggler taeyong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22811647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CHERRYYONG/pseuds/CHERRYYONG
Summary: To trust was to be a fool. And in the life of crime that they lived, Johnny was a fool for Taeyong.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	map of your stars

**Author's Note:**

> yes, this is the spontaneous product of me binge-watching the mandalorian in a day and a half. sadly, baby yoda will not be making an appearance in this fic... i'm deeply sorry to disappoint :') enjoy the johnyong!

“Posture, John.”

At his mother’s reminder, Johnny quickly straightened his back and stuck out his chin in an attempt to look as poised as the gang queen standing next to him. He wasn’t intimidated by his mother per se, but a quick glance at the emotionless ice in her expression as she stared straight ahead was evidence of why many were. 

They were standing in their front garden, facing the main gates as they creaked open, granting passage to a tall man and two boys trailing behind him. It was improper to stare, as he’d been reminded many times before, but there was something mesmerizing about the snowflakes that clung to the black hair of the older of the two boys that Johnny couldn’t look away from. It wasn’t that it was a sight that he was unfamiliar with, considering that it snowed every other day on Kijimi, but it was the contrast of the two colors matched with the startling wit in the boy’s massive, dark eyes that enraptured Johnny.

He hadn’t even considered that he’d stared for long beyond what was proper when his mother’s hand came to nudge gently at his back, and he realized that the dark haired boy was now standing right in front of him, big eyes looking boldly into his own. Unlike Johnny’s, his eyes held no hesitation, as if he could and would stare all that he desired without fear of properness. 

“Madame Seo.” The tall man, their new business partner according to what he’d been told earlier that week, bowed his head at Johnny’s mother, who offered a nod of her own. “Thank you for welcoming us into your estate.”

The man gestured to each side of himself, and the two boys stepped forward, each bowing deeply in sync. “My youngest son, Mark.”

Mark, the smaller one, straightened quickly and nearly lost his balance on the icy stone pathway, tiny face flushed. His father’s hand came up to his collar to straighten him, which caused Mark to blush even harder. 

He gestured his other hand towards the other boy, and Johnny let himself take another look at those dark eyes. “And my eldest, Taeyong.”

Taeyong ducked from the waist, and he did not slip. 

“This is John, my only son.”

Johnny bowed. And he slipped.

Laughter erupted out of Mark, followed quickly by a hiss to shush from his father and a long sigh from Johnny’s mother. His shoulder ached from where it had connected with the icy path, and his back was already dampening from where snow was beginning to melt through the fabric of his coat. He rolled to his side to get up, only for his knee to slide out from under him and send him face planting into the snow once again. 

Mark’s laughter was joined by another this time, and his mother let out an even longer sigh. Johnny saw her feet turn and start walking back towards their house. “Do excuse my son. He’s only 13, and he clearly hasn’t gained control of his limbs yet.”

What a wonderful first impression to their new allies. Johnny would’ve feared that he’d embarrassed his mother, but the hint of amusement in her voice told him otherwise. 

Carefully this time, he gathered his elbows underneath him to make to get up, and lifted his head to a hand outstretched in front of him. 

Eyes dark and warm, Taeyong smiled at him. “Don’t worry, John. I slip all the time.”

Johnny knew that that was a lie, if the elegance in which Taeyong had walked through their gates had been anything to go by. He’d probably never slipped on ice in his life-- Johnny's mother would certainly be envious. But his hand was still reaching out to Johnny, and his smile was so honest, he could forgive the lie that had passed through it. 

Johnny took his hand. 

———

Not for the first time, Johnny woke up surprised to still be alive. 

Last that he remembered, he’d been on his flaming ship as it hurtled towards an unknown planet, every sensor flashing red and screaming. He recalled picking up the signal of someone tracking him just seconds before they’d opened fire, demolishing his shields in just one round. Johnny had returned fire, but not before both he and his attacker were sucked into the atmosphere, and right before his vision went black, he caught the flash of a hexagonal emblem falling in flames besides him. What a sucky way to die.

But Johnny was not dead. He drew in a deep breath, air tinted heavily with the scent of moss and rain. He had to blink a few times to adjust to the dim lighting, but he soon made out the tall, stone walls around him and the soft cot he was laying in. Vines grew down from the ceiling and hung over windows that were really just carved openings in the stone, and upon lifting himself up on an elbow, Johnny saw that a tiny moat of water trapped him and the single bed in the middle of what looked to be an old temple. If it weren’t for the softness of the bedsheets and the lack of guards around him, Johnny would’ve thought that he’d been taken prisoner. 

He made to swing his legs over the side of the bed, but a sharp ache sprung from his left shin, stopping him. He pulled back the covers, expecting to see bandages wrapped around it, but instead saw just the legs of unfamiliar pants that he was now wearing. Frowning, Johnny gingerly rolled up the hem of the pants, and was certainly surprised by what he saw. 

Black, inky designs twisted over his skin, looping lines seeming to hold together a long gash across his calf like a gnarled imitation of the stitches that healing droids could do. Johnny lifted a tentative hand to graze over the drawings, but the doors at the front of the temple slammed open with a resonating boom. 

“Don’t touch it!” In stomped a thin boy, a basket balanced on each of his arms and urgency in his high-pitched voice. 

Johnny drew his hand back, glancing around for any sort of object that could be used in defense to no avail. He faced the boy and donned the most intimidating glare he could muster. The boy was unfazed and continued on his way until he stood just on the other side of the moat. 

“Who are you?” Johnny snarled. “What do you want from me?”

“I’m Yangyang,” the boy answered, only a bit calmer than when he’d come in. “We pulled you out of the ocean. What do you seek?”

Ignoring the boy’s question, Johnny eyed the boy warily, sizing him up. He’d have no problem knocking the kid out with his bare hands, and the last bit of moral that once might’ve held him back from fighting children had left long ago. Then much to Johnny’s surprise, Yangyang walked _over_ the water to reach the end of the cot. He jerked his chin for Johnny to move his legs so he could set his baskets down, and when he didn’t, simply set the baskets on top of his legs. Johnny bit back a hiss at the jolt that it sent through his strangely-inked shin.

“Who’s we?”

Yangyang began unpacking the baskets, pulling out various items that Johnny recognized were from his ship, which by the smoky scent of his charred belongings, hadn’t made it in one piece. “Me, my brother. Sicheng. A couple others.”

Johnny accepted his jacket when Yangyang handed it to him, the leather of it familiar to his touch. “Are you a Jedi?”

“Ha!” Yangyang laughed, genuine amusement breaking his facade of maturity. “Imagine if Ten heard that! Sure, we’re something like that.”

Johnny reached for his boots when Yangyang set them on the cot, but the boy swatted his hands away. “No shoes in the temple.”

And so he’d been right, this was a temple. He hadn't noticed before, but lining the stone walls were dozens of twisting trees, curled branches not unlike the patterns on Johnny’s leg. The branches were grown to act as a cage, sheltering stacks upon stacks of dusty books within them. Johnny felt a hum in the air around them, as if the temple was speaking out to him. 

This was certainly not Johnny’s scene. 

“Why are you helping me?”

Yangyang scoffed. “If it had been my choice, I’d have let you burn like the other one, but Sicheng insisted we drag you off the beach.”

Johnny wondered why that name was so familiar. Yangyang gestured to the empty baskets and the array of Johnny’s possessions now laid out upon the sheets. “That’s all that we could save. We’ll move them to your lodging later, but Ten said I had to show them to you when you woke up.”

Johnny didn’t know who Ten was, or who any of these people helping him were, but there was little he could do now but to believe them. Johnny knew honesty when he saw it, and Yangyang was nothing if not bluntly sincere, if the minutes that he’d known him for were anything to go by. “Thank you.”

Yangyang blinked at him, a quizzical look on his face, but looked away before Johnny could make any more of it. He made his way around to the side of the cot and held out a hand. 

“You can walk now. Let’s go outside.”

Taking Yangyang’s arm, Johnny tested his weight on his legs. Oddly, where his shin had been throbbing just minutes earlier, it now felt sturdy enough to carry him. He walked forward slowly, and paused when the reached the edge of the water. The moat was so clear that he could see right to the bottom, but he couldn’t make out how deep it was.

Yangyang again stepped onto the surface of the water, and gestured for Johnny to follow. “Hope you don’t mind getting your pants wet.”

Much to his relief, Johnny only sank up to his knees in the moat. The cold water was a welcome ease for his muscles, and he waded through behind Yangyang, who chattered all the way until he was waiting for Johnny on the other side. 

“Sicheng has good intuition, my brother says, so that’s why we dragged you out of your ship. The other guy wasn’t so lucky, but we would’ve let him die anyway; the Order isn’t welcome on our planet.”

Finally hauling himself up onto the stone on the other side of the moat, Johnny swallowed. It was as he’d feared-- he’d been followed by the First Order. 

Yangyang toon his arm again and led him towards the open doors of the temple, and he could see grass stretching out for miles and miles just outside. This was certainly no place like he’d been before. 

“How do you know you can trust me?” 

Yangyang let out another laugh, a youthful sound. “‘Cause we hate the First Order, and—“

He poked at the frayed badge on the side of Johnny’s jacket. Truthfully, he’d forgotten that it was there. He’d sported the worn leather for the better part of the past few years, and he’d grown so familiar to the faded red symbol of the Resistance emblazoned upon the shoulder that he’d forgotten its meaning. 

“—you do too.”

And that was some of the truth. 

They finally made it to the edge of the doors, and stepping through, Johnny’s breath was nearly taken away. 

Fields of grass stretched out in front of him, climbing into smooth mountains that stood tall against the cloudy sky. The sound of waves crashing blended with laughter in the distance, and Johnny looked to the right to see a group of kids darting through the humble village at the foot of a hill. The image was so familiar yet so distant that Johnny wondered if he really had died. But that couldn’t be right— the image was missing something. Someone.

The team of kids halted in their chase when a man stepped into their path, a wooden staff gripped in one hand. The man was thinly built, but his lithe limbs drew the attention of the entire village, a quick wave of his hand dismissing the children. On the length of his entire uncovered arm, Johnny saw dark ink swirling hypnotically over every inch of his skin, and it wasn’t until an inked finger pointed directly at him that he realized Yangyang was leading them towards the man.

The boy whispered as they approached him, “That’s my brother. Don’t take anything he says personally.”

At a closer distance, Johnny towered at least a head over the other, who upon first glance didn’t look to be much older than Johnny himself. He could see Yangyang’s features in him too, the lines of their faces sharp and fine, but the smile didn’t reach his ancient eyes when the man ducked his head in greeting. He knew he’d never met him before in his life, but Johnny felt somehow that those eyes knew more about him already than he’d care to share. He removed his grip on Yangyang to draw himself to his full height, which didn’t deter the tattooed man from tilting up his chin and peering at him over his nose anyway. 

“John Suh,” he proclaimed, and Johnny had never heard his name said with such unabashed judgement. “Heir of the Kijimi Gang, no? Deflected pilot now, I suppose… _very_ intriguing.”

Johnny cleared his throat, unease creeping over him as amusement seeped into the shorter man’s eyes. “I’m none of that, now.”

“Then who are you? What do you seek?” The man cocked his head, humming in a way that made it certain that he knew without Johnny needing to say.

Ignoring the same question once again, Johnny squared his shoulders. “I wanna know who the hell _you_ are.”

Yangyang snorted next to him, and his brother returned a similar look of amusement, completely undeterred by the spike of Johnny’s voice that he normally found to strike fear in his opponents. The unrestrained emotions on both of their faces were familiar to Johnny in a way that ached deeply, and he reminded himself that he didn’t have time to dwindle on this stupidly peaceful planet and be interrogated by this tiny priest. There was a reason that he’d been in the system in the first place, and each moment he spent on land and not in the air was another moment wasted on his mission.

“I am _not_ a priest, Mister Suh.”

_He fucking heard that?_

“Don’t think so loudly if you’re displeased with it,” the man jeered, and Yangyang shook his head exasperatedly. The older of the brothers let out a laugh and unexpectedly clapped Johnny on the shoulder, the patterns on his arm rippling as he did so. He began walking out of the village center and towards the mountain in the distance, and Johnny only followed when Yangyang waved him forward.

The man said without turning back, crisp voice carrying in the wind. “I am called Ten. This is my planet.” 

A hint of a limp was noticeable in his step, and Johnny didn’t miss how he leaned on his staff with each fall of his right foot. 

Yangyang made a noise of disagreement, rolling his eyes with a quirk of his eyebrows at Johnny. Following behind them, hardly-aching shin brushing through the knee high grass of the field around the mountain’s base, a gently singing waterfall came into view ahead of them. Yangyang whooped and rushed ahead past his brother, catching himself with waving arms before he fell face-first into the small pool at the base of the waterfall. Johnny was puzzled at how these people could let their guards down so easily around anyone they’d just met.

“I don’t need to be so nice, Mister Suh,” Ten replied. This whole mind-reading ordeal wasn’t too agreeable with Johnny, and he wondered what would happen if he just screamed as loud as he could in his head. “I think you need our help more than we need to keep you alive. I’ll ask again; what do you seek?”

“Right, like you don’t know already-- you should’ve killed me.”

Suddenly, a voice that was not his own nor Ten’s entered his head, a soothing timbre that goaded Johnny into relaxing into its words.

_You do not yet seek death. What you think it might bring will not be there._

Stepping up to the edge of the water besides Ten, Johnny watched the waterfall split down the middle, parting the way for a man to step through, hovering over the water as Yangyang had in the temple. Even through the mist, Johnny could make out the unearthly grace about the man, and even without Yangyang’s cheer of his name or the nagging familiarity of his kind face in Johnny’s mind, there was no question that this was the _intuitive_ Sicheng.

_You will find him, if you listen._

He’d envisioned death many times, having had nothing better to do during the time he’d spent in the pilot’s seat of his creaky ship, searching the galaxy fruitlessly. He’d close his eyes and picture rolling hills of green and a clear blue sky, or a dense forest, or really anywhere warm. The location mattered little, but the one thing that had to remain constant was the soft hand in his. He would look over and find those warm eyes smiling back at him, the sweetness in them that knew him inside and out, the black lashes a gentler shade of dark than that of space. 

Johnny would never forget those eyes, not even in death. Even if he had hope now that he would not have to die before seeing Taeyong Lee again.

———

Kijimi was cold, but space was colder. 

Johnny set the crate of replacement parts down on a seat on the side of the ship, a shiver coursing through him. The ship rocked as it launched into hyperspace, and Johnny settled down on a seat next to the crate, pulling his jacket tighter around himself.

Suddenly, something soft and warm hit him in the face, followed by a soft voice squeaking out “Sorry!”

Johnny peeled the blanket from his face to find Taeyong at the doorway that led to the hall connecting the passenger area to the cockpit, a blanket of his own in hand. In the dim lighting of the ship, his fine features were even sharper than usual. 

Taeyong grinned sheepishly. “My dad packed these, in case we got cold.”

Johnny was careful not to show the confusion he felt on his face. In their business, favors were never done out of kindness, not even the offering of a simple blanket. But Johnny had searched those dark eyes of Taeyong’s for a bit over a year now, the same eyes of his brother and of his father, and in those pitch black pools, he’d never found anything but earnestness. 

His mom had always said that to trust someone was to be a fool, but Johnny thought that if Taeyong trusted him enough to give him a blanket from his father, Taeyong who could compute problems even quicker than an astromech droid, then it must not be true that only fools trusted others. Johnny would never question his mother (not out loud, at least), but he silently weighed the flaw in her logic, for they must certainly trust the Lees. They would not be on this mission otherwise.

Taeyong tilted his head, and it was then that Johnny realized he’d missed a question, having been caught up in his thoughts. “What did you say?”

Taeyong’s laugh was airy, gentle. “I said, would you mind if I took a seat next to you?”

“Oh, no, of course not!” Johnny jumped, immediately relocating the crate of parts to the floor and brushing off the seat that it had occupied. Taeyong smiled, wrapping his blanket around himself and skipping over to place himself next to Johnny. His chest leapt with inexplicable amusement upon noticing that Taeyong’s swinging feet didn’t touch the floor. He’d learned shortly after they’d been introduced that they were the same age, but Johnny was still a good few inches taller than the other boy.

“Have you flown before?” Taeyong rested his elbow on his knee, turning his head to inspect Johnny, who suddenly found it difficult to form words with the focus of those mesmerising eyes on him.

“Uh, I’m learning to pilot,” Johnny managed to stutter out. “Just in the atmosphere, though. What about you?”

A small grin tugged at Taeyong’s lips, and his gaze turned glossy, far away. “I’ve never piloted, but I traveled a long way before we got to Kijimi.”

“Where have you been?”

“I was born on Naboo.”

Taeyong didn’t say more after that, but Johnny could sense the longing in the way he’d said the name of his home planet. “That makes sense.”

Taeyong peered at him, eyebrow quirking. “Why’s that?”

“You’re too…” Johnny searched for the word to describe Taeyong Lee. Too many came to mind. “You’re too human to belong on Kijimi.”

The smile that split Taeyong’s face was worth the embarrassment of the truth that Johnny had just revealed. “And you aren’t human?”

Johnny found himself laughing along. “I don’t fit that role as well as you do.”

“Well, John,” Taeyong said, and Johnny wanted to correct him, tell him that no one but his mother called him John, but he found that he didn’t mind the curt formality of his name so much if it was being spoken by Taeyong. “What role do you think you’d play better?”

Johnny shrugged, stretching his legs out in front of himself. “I’ll be like my mom, if I’m good enough.”

Taeyong hummed, wearing an expression that Johnny couldn’t decipher. “Nothing else?”

Johnny had never considered anything else-- there truly was nothing else for him besides what he had on Kijimi. He hadn’t lied when he’d said that he wasn’t as human as Taeyong was; he wasn’t human enough to be worthy of a trade beyond what he’d known his whole life. He would be a businessman, as his mother would call it. That’s what he was fit to do.

Johnny shrugged again, and posed a question of his own. “What about you? What will you do?”

“I’ll be a student forever if I could,” Taeyong responded quickly, wistfully. “I love to learn. I want to know everything in this universe.”

And that was such a human answer. With Taeyong’s shoulder pressing against Johnny’s own, space wasn’t so cold. 

“You will.” Taeyong grinned again softly, looking away from him now. That was good, for it meant that Johnny could now stare without fear of being caught. “You’ll see it all.”

They talked until the ship came out of hyperspace, and Johnny could almost pretend during that time that they lived a different life, that they were two schoolboys chatting in a classroom on Coruscant, or maybe Naboo, and not two sons of the system’s most renowned smugglers stealing a moment away from the crime they’d been sent to commit.

In the years following, the belief that Taeyong Lee could and certainly would do anything he desired never dwindled in Johnny’s mind. Whether or not that be due to his own unacceptance to see so otherwise was unimportant, as was the dangerous desire that grew within him to capture every star in their galaxy if only so that Taeyong would have a better view of them. 

They grew older, and Johnny’s helplessness grew with them...

A sand-filled tossing ball went flying past his head, causing the tusk cat he’d been beckoning with a piece of jerky to leap away. Johnny groaned, turning around to glare down the alley at whoever had scared his nearly-potential new pet away.

“Sorry, dude!” Kun jogged up, school bag swinging at his side as he leaned down to pick up the ball. “I was aiming for your head.”

Johnny rolled his eyes, straightening back up, knees aching with how long he’d been crouched in pursuit of the tusk cat. He shouldered his own bag and followed Kun out of the alley back onto the main road. 

“I was wondering why you’d taken off down there right after lessons,” his friend remarked, tossing the ball in his palm. “You’re the only nerd who’d ditch the Twi’lek twins for a stray alley cat.”

Johnny snorted, dodging a wagon that rumbled down the street next to them. For the son of the anarchical planet’s only educator, Kun was an awfully bad influence. “You know I’m not interested in them.”

Kun laughed, turning to walk backwards down the road so Johnny could get a full view of his wiggling eyebrows. “Oh _loverboy_ , how could I forget?”

“Shut up!” Johnny shoved his friend’s shoulder, blushing wildly just at the mention of his ugly crush. 

“Remind me, Johnny, how you _fell_ for him,” Kun drawled, leaping out of the way of Johnny’s hands swatting at him. “Head over heels?”

“I hate you.”

Kun’s expression turned a fraction more serious. “Ask him to go with you to dinner tomorrow. For the sake of my sanity, if not his.”

“To my uncle’s retirement party? I don’t think so.”

Not that his Uncle Heechul’s parties weren’t great fun, Johnny just wasn’t sure that he had the courage to. There were many things that he could do; recite the trade routes of over seventy systems, hack the landing codes of any smuggling base, even rewire a standard speeder. But asking out a cute boy? No, no he couldn’t do that. It’d been four years, and Johnny was still as hopeless as the first day he’d encountered those beautiful, warm ey-

A quarrel of shouts erupted from a side alley, and Kun and Johnny exchanged a look before speeding towards where the sound had come from. A commotion on this side of the city usually only meant one thing, and Johnny’s prediction was proven true as they came upon the scene of Mark swinging his fists at another raggedy, curly haired boy.

“Mark!” 

At the sound of his name, both Mark and Johnny turned towards the entrance of the alley, and Johnny’s heart caught in his throat. He was frozen in place, but luckily Kun had the good conscience to run up and restrain the curly haired boy and his two friends before they could launch themselves at Mark. 

Taeyong stomped down the alley, and Johnny’s eyes followed him as he dropped to crouch at his little brother’s height, doting hands inspecting him for injuries. It wasn’t until Kun let out a wheeze as one of the other boys jabbed him in the ribs that Johnny unfroze and went to help his friend. He grabbed the curly haired boy by the shoulders, who immediately turned and stomped down on his foot with surprising force for a kid who looked at least five years younger than him. Restraining from shouting a few choice curse words, Johnny let him go, and the boy whipped around, screeching in a high voice.

“You people think you can do whatever just because you’ve got some influence? You don’t control me!”

Mark erupted, held back by both of Taeyong’s arms wrapped around him. “I never said I did! You gotta believe me, I just offered him a pear!”

The young boy looked frantically between Taeyong and Johnny, big eyes pleading. But Curly Hair, restrained by Johnny (feet at a safe distance apart this time), had only fire in his eyes. “I don’t want your help, Mark _Lee_.”

Mark kicked at him, and Johnny could see Taeyong’s struggle in holding back his brother. “It’s not my fault you’re poor, then!”

Taeyong, Kun, and one of Curly Hair’s friends all gasped in unison. Mark seemed to realize what he’d said a moment after, and shrunk into himself in his brother’s arms. 

“Mark.” Taeyong looked absolutely scandalized, eyebrows nearly in his hairline. “Apologize. Now.”

“We don’t need money.” One of the boys in Kun’s hold with a head that looked too big for his body scoffed, venom in his soft features. “We know where your money comes from anyway.”

It wasn’t a secret that despite Kijimi having no official leader, there were still… certain groups who held greater influence than others. Johnny was just fortunate to have been born into one.

“I’m sorry,” Mark finally muttered after Taeyong hissed something else in his ear.

“No you’re not.”

“I _am!_ ”

Curly Hair crossed his arms over top of Johnny’s own wrapped across his chest. “Whatever, spice runner.”

Kun let out a quiet “ _Oomp_ ”, and Mark’s face fell, all fighting energy gone. Johnny frowned. There was a system on their planet, and that system was that there was no system, but certain things were simply what they were, and Mark couldn’t change that. Even Johnny couldn’t change that. 

“Hey, kid.” Johnny turned Curly Hair to begrudgingly face him. The kid was too thin, though his cheeks were still round, and eyes full of hatred as they glared at Johnny. “What’s your name?”

“Haechan.”

“It’s Donghyuck!”

“You’re not supposed to _tell_ him, Chenle!”

Johnny didn’t bend down, simply peered down at the boy from where he stood towering over him. Donghyuck looked back fiercely, not an ounce of fear in his entire tiny frame, not like Johnny was used to finding when he imposed his reputation upon others. It would’ve been admirable, had his foot not still been throbbing from where it had been assaulted.

“Tell me, Donghyuck.” Johnny saw Kun let go of the other two boys, who made no move to run. “Did you ask to be alive?”

The boy furrowed his eyebrows, tightening his crossed arms in their tattered sleeves. “ ‘Typa question is that?”

“Would you like to stay alive?” Johnny tried again.

“Don’t threaten my friend!” The big headed boy shouted, Chenle, Johnny remembered.

“It wasn’t a threat,” Johnny offered a cool grin, shrugging with open palms. “Not from me, anyway.”

He waited until all three boys turned their eyes to him.

“We live in the real world. We all do. And if you wanna stay alive, you gotta do anything you can. I’ve done what I can do— Mark has too, and unless you boys learn to accept what’s given… well...”

Some of the stoniness left Donghyuck’s face. “...you won’t live long enough to learn the consequences of that.”

At that, the taller of Donghyuck’s two friends stepped forward and tugged his friend away by the arm, a deep sadness in his eyes that Johnny almost felt bad for having put there. Not that he should— he spoke only the truth. The three boys ran out of the alley, but not before Chenle turned back one more time and threw something to the ground, hard.

The pear smashed on the stone.

After a minute of silence, Johnny and Kun headed slowly down the alley to give Taeyong and Mark some privacy as the older boy scolded his brother. Tugging at the chain of the gold pendant that hung around his neck, Johnny couldn’t get the bitter taste of guilt out of his mouth, though he wasn’t certain why he felt that way at all. 

Kun pocketed his sand ball. “I’d better head back home.”

“Yeah,” Johnny agreed, glancing back to see the Lee brothers rise to their feet and walk in their direction. “We probably should too.”

They took the back roads home to allow Mark to grumble his way down snow-dusted path in front of them, kicking at the pebbles in his way. Johnny walked slowly to keep pace with Taeyong, trying his best to pretend as if he hadn’t memorized the walking pattern of the shorter boy. His eyes were trained on Mark’s boots ahead of him, afraid that his heart would leap out of his throat if he glanced at the boy next to him.

Until Taeyong dropped a book from his armful of schoolbooks and had to stop to bend down and pick it up, dropping two more in the process. He tucked the stack under his chin in an attempt to pick up the fallen books with one hand, muttering to himself all the while, until he looked up and choked on his words at the proximity of Johnny’s face to his.

Johnny jumped back, clearing his throat. “Um.” He balanced the two books he’d retrieved from the ground in the crook of his elbow and plucked the rest of the stack out of Taeyong’s arms. “I can get that.”

“Oh.” The blush on Taeyong’s cheeks made his heart jump, and he had to look away to hide the grin that it brought to his face. “Thank you, John.”

“No worries,” he said, a beat too quickly, embarrassingly. “It’s an honor to walk with you for once.”

Johnny would cringe over that in the privacy of his room later. Taeyong didn’t seem to notice the corniness, simply letting out a light laugh. “I normally stay at the library longer, but I figured that that one—“

He pointed his chin at Mark, who was now dragging his feet in a deep trench through the snow.

“—wouldn’t want to explain that bruise on his eye to our dad alone.”

“I understand.”

 _This is the perfect moment,_ a voice in Johnny’s head said. _Ask him now._

“Hey, Tae-“

Taeyong cut him off with a gasp, marching forward to pick Mark up from where he’d tripped in the snow. “Mark, _please_ try to make it home in one piece!” 

They finally did make it home without another fall from Mark, thanks to Taeyong’s hand on his upper arm the entire rest of the way to the Seo Estate. Not long after a combined mission between his family’s gang and the Lees proved to be the most successful of their decade had the Lees been invited to reside on the estate, and their acceptance was not so much a victory for Johnny’s pining as it was an erasure of any excuse he might’ve had previously for his cowardice. 

They climbed up the stairs, and Taeyong held open the grand front doors for Johnny, whose hands were still occupied by Taeyong’s library books. The book owner in question noticed as soon as they all stepped into the parlor of the house. 

“Oh, I’ll take those back!” Taeyong hefted them into his arms before Johnny could offer to take them to his room for him. “Thank you again.”

He began to follow Mark down the west hall, opposite to the side of the mansion in which Johnny lived. _You missed your chance._

With a pang of defeat, Johnny turned on his heel to mope behind the locked door of his room.

“Johnny! Wait!”

He whipped back around so fast, his neck popped. “Yeah?”

Taeyong’s blush had returned, and he swept a hand through his inky hair. Johnny would watch him do that simple action again and again for all of eternity if he could, if it also meant that Taeyong would look at him with that bashful grin forever. 

“I was wondering,” Taeyong began, eyes darting to the ground and back up to Johnny’s. “If maybe… um.”

Johnny held his breath.

“If you wanted to…”

Taeyong’s mouth opened and closed silently, dark eyes locked on his. Johnny could never look away from those eyes.

“He wants to know if you’re going to the party tomorrow.”

Taeyong’s jaw dropped, whipping around at the speed of lightning and chucking a book at his cackling brother. “Mark!”

The younger Lee brother ran off down the hall, two more books flying in attack mode after him. Taeyong huffed, frustration clear in the way he stomped his foot on the marble tile.

Johnny sucked in a deep breath. _It was now or never._ “Will you be there? At the party?”

Taeyong remained turned away from him, but Johnny could see how his ears turned pink, peaking through the tufts of his hair. His heart raced at lightspeed. Taeyong turned back slowly, fidgeting to hold the few books still in his grasp. “Perhaps.”

Johnny stepped forward, close enough to take a textbook off the top of Taeyong’s stack. At this proximity, their difference in height was even more noticeable, a pattern throughout the years that hadn’t changed. Taeyong peered up at him through his eyelashes, and Johnny was helpless. “I will see you tomorrow, then.”

A small grin tugged at Taeyong’s lips, and Johnny forced himself to step away before the sound of his cheering heart could be heart. Taeyong stayed in his spot, never the one to look away first, and Johnny nearly collided with a wall behind him in his attempt to keep their eye contact.

“I’ll…” He remembered the book that he still clutched in his hand and held it up. “I’ll give this back tomorrow.” 

Taeyong’s smile reached his eyes, and Johnny was sure that his blushing cheeks matched his own. “I’ll see you there, John.”

**Author's Note:**

> please leave a comment if you had any thoughts at all about this new random project of mine <3 come yell at me on my twitter [cherryy0ng](https://twitter.com/CHERRYY0NG) too!


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